Get ready for a guaranteed gourd time with these hilarious Halloween puns!
150 Halloween Puns That Will Have You Laughin’ Till You’re Coffin
Updated Sep. 25, 2024
Clever Halloween puns always lift our spirits!
If you ask us, Halloween is the best holiday of the year. From imaginative costumes that’ll have you feeling hex-tra cute to buckets of Halloween candy you can’t Reese-ist, there’s so much more to the holiday than scares and boos—though we do love a Halloween cocktail every now and then! Sorry, we couldn’t help ourselves, but that’s OK, because hilarious Halloween puns only add to the festive spirit.
These pithy and punny Halloween jokes are the perfect seasonal sprinkles for a conversation or text—or the basis for a great Halloween meme. So get ready to get silly, spooky and even a little (pumpkin) spicy with the Halloween puns below.
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Halloween puns
- It’s a grave new world out there.
- Let’s get this party star-dead!
- That party was a real scream.
- Reading my daily horror-scope.
- No better way to kick off Halloween than with a bagel and scream cheese.
- I’m dead. (Literally.)
- Simply eerie-sistible.
- Trick-or-treat yo’self.
- Creep it real, bro.
- Best fiends for life.
- Just two newlywebs celebrating our first Halloween as Mr. and Mrs.
- If you’ve got it, haunt it!
- Howl you doing?
- This mummy is ready for Halloween!
- Just two old bats hanging out this Halloween.
- Feelin’ hex-tra cute.
- Let’s go fright now!
- Orange you excited that Halloween is almost here?
- Eat, drink and be scary.
- Dead tired, but Halloween was a success!
Halloween costume puns
- Why are you dressed as Taco Belle?
- I love chickens! That’s why I’m dressed as a poultrygeist.
- Math is my favorite subject, so I had to be pumpkin pi this year!
- I’m not a singer. I’m a candy rapper.
- I’m afraid of the dark, so I dressed as a knight light.
- Your costume is giving me Netflix and chills.
- I’m a ghost with tattoos, so call me Ghost Malone.
Halloween candy puns
- This holiday couldn’t be any sweeter.
- I can’t Reese-ist a great Halloween pun.
- Halloween is choco-full of fun!
- These Halloween puns may be (candy) corny, but you know you love them anyway!
- Wow—your costume looks so realistic, it’s un-candy!
- Twix or treat!
- This will definitely come in candy.
- Going to have to exorcise after eating all this Halloween candy.
- Can’t wait to start goblin up all this Halloween candy!
- What kind of candy do zombies hate the most? Life Savers.
- That Halloween candy tastes as good as it spells.
- There’s no sugar-coating it: This is the best holiday of the year.
- No, I did not steal your KitKat. Gimme a break!
- What two letters spell candy? C and Y.
Pumpkin puns
- Carvin’ out some “me” time.
- This pumpkin and I are super close now—she spilled her guts to me this afternoon.
- Unless it’s pumpkin spice, I don’t give a frappe.
- Just two pumpkins jamming out to some vine-yls.
- Good gourd, you scared me!
- Let the gourd times roll.
- Let’s give ’em pumpkin to talk about.
- This pumpkin is totally smashed.
- All it needed was a little pumpkin patch, and now it’s as good as new.
- Lookin’ gourd, girl!
- Gourd vibes only this Halloween.
- You don’t know jack-o’-lantern.
- The end of PSL season has me feeling all despresso.
- Just saying “hollow!”
- Feeling a little empty inside.
- Watch out—this part of town can be a little seedy.
Ghost puns
- I love reading my boo-ks.
- I used to be part of the Ghoul Scouts.
- Ew, don’t pick your boo-gers.
- I need to put on my boo-ts.
- I’m going to Mali-boo for vacation.
- Can you help me with my boo-boo?
- I love playing hide-and-shriek.
- Boo-berries are my favorite fruit.
- I’m going shopping at the boo-tique.
- Feeling fancy in my boo-tie.
- The ghost-ess with the mostest.
- Time to boo-gie!
- Nothing like Halloween to lift some spirits!
- Feelin’ boo-tylicious.
- Came for the party, stayed for the boos.
- That’s boo-sheet.
- Have a fa-boo-lous Halloween!
- Hey there, boo-tiful.
- Where my ghouls at?
- #squadghouls
- Headed to the ghost-ry store.
- Where’s the boos?
- Just being transparent with you.
- Me and my boo.
- I totally have déjà boo.
Witch puns
- Life’s a witch, then you fly.
- Sorry, I overswept.
- Keep calm and carry a wand.
- Basic witch.
- Don’t fly off the handle!
- Resting witch face.
- If the broom fits …
- I’m 100% that witch.
- Broommates for life.
- Witcha up to tonight?
- That’s just witchful thinking.
- Witching you a Happy Halloween!
- Witch me luck!
- Bow down, witches.
- You can’t always get what you wand.
- Grab your broom—it’s time to make a clean getaway!
- Hang tight—I’ll bewitch you in a minute.
Vampire puns
- Vampires love neck-tarines.
- You know a vampire has a cold when they start coffin.
- We don’t know who won the race because it was neck and neck.
- I’m sorry, I’m blind as a bat.
- He’s a total sucker for me.
- Need a few coffin drops for this cold.
- Feeling like a fangster.
- That vampire is always looking in the mirror—he’s so vein!
- Suck it up, dude.
- Being a vampire really sucks.
- Vampires and I have bad blood.
- Feeling fang-tastic!
- It was love at first bite.
- That costume is necks level.
- Do I have bat breath?
- Fangs for the memories.
- Better luck necks time!
- Welcome to my bat-chelor pad.
- Another one bites the dust.
Monster puns
- That bag of candy is monster-ously huge!
- This zombie is feeling rotten.
- Happy Howl-oween!
- Being a zombie isn’t for the faint of heart—it takes real dead-ication.
- I need some zombie to love.
- This costume cost an arm and a leg, but I think it was worth it.
- Monsters aren’t good at math … unless you Count Dracula.
- Just werewolfed down all the Halloween candy.
- Got a little wrapped up in Halloween shenanigans this year!
- What a narcissist! That mummy is so wrapped up in herself.
- Just zom-be yourself!
- Now that’s a real monster-piece.
- This mummy loves jammin’ to wrap.
- He’s smarter than Frank Einstein.
- Zombies don’t like green beans—they prefer human beans.
Skeleton puns
- Didn’t put much effort into my Halloween costume this year—my heart just wasn’t in it.
- Bone appétit!
- No guts, no glory.
- Bone to be wild.
- No body to love.
- These Halloween puns tickled my funny bone.
- Nothing gets under this skeleton’s skin.
- I’ll call you on my skel-phone.
- Lazy bones.
- Bone jour, friends!
- Will you marrow me?
- Tonight’s going to be fun—I can feel it in my bones!
- I’d tell you a Halloween pun, but you might not find it very humerous.
- Have a skele-ton of fun!
- I’ve got a bone to pick with you!
Why trust us
Reader’s Digest has been telling jokes for more than 100 years, curated and reviewed over the last 20 years by Senior Features Editor Andy Simmons, a humor editor formerly of National Lampoon and the author of Now That’s Funny. We’ve earned prestigious ASME awards for our humor—including comical quips, pranks, puns, cartoons, one-liners, knock-knock jokes, riddles, memes, tweets and stories in laugh-out-loud magazine columns such as “Life in These United States,” “All in a Day’s Work,” “Laughter, the Best Medicine” and “Humor in Uniform,” as well as online collections such as short jokes, dad jokes and bad jokes so bad, they’re great. You can find a century of humor in our 2022 compendium, Reader’s Digest: Laughter, the Best Medicine. Read more about our team, our contributors and our editorial policies.
Originally Published: September 20, 2023
