100 Fall Jokes That Are Funny Beyond Be-Leaf

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Fall jokes guaranteed to make you laugh

Your jack-o’-lantern shouldn’t be the only one smiling this fall, so we’re letting the gourd times roll with the best autumn jokes. After all, as the temperatures cool and leaf-peeping season begins, there’s always room for some levity. Fall jokes and fall puns bring giggles to family gatherings, pumpkin patch outings and Halloween get-togethers.

So whether you prefer whipped cream or ice cream on your favorite pumpkin pie, don’t forget to offer your family and friends a dollop of laughter on the side. Ready for some fun? Read on for the best jokes for fall.

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The best fall jokes

• What happens when the horses refuse to pull the wagon in the pumpkin patch?
  It turns into a neigh ride.

• What do you call a guy wearing a hockey mask at the grocery store?
  Freddy Kroger.

• Why did the man bungee jump on the first day of autumn?
  Because he loved the fall.

• What do you call someone who imitates your fall centerpiece?
  A cornucopier.

• What did the jack-o’-lantern do when pulled over by the police?
  Spilled its guts.

• Who won the skeleton costume contest?
  No body.

• What do you call a small pepper in the fall?
  A little chili.

• What is a Ghostbuster’s job?
  Spook keeper.

• What’s the best book to read in autumn?
  Gourd of the Flies.

• What did autumn say to summer?
  I’ll fall-ow you anywhere.

• How do you repair a broken jack-o’-lantern?
  Use a pumpkin patch.

• Why don’t fir trees ever get the blues?
  They’re evergreen.

• What do you call the smallest apple on earth?
  An apple-teenie.

• What movie best describes Thanksgiving morning?
  The Hunger Games.

Want more autumn laughs? You’re going to cackle at these hysterical fall memes.

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Puns and one-liner jokes for fall

• My favorite fall color is plaid.

• She was the crab apple of his eye.

• One bad apple can spoil the whole brunch.

• My favorite kind of pie is whatever kind I’m eating.

• It’s called fall because you fall asleep when it gets dark at 6 p.m.

• You know it’s fall when the mosquitoes are wearing flannel shirts.

• Let’s give ’em pumpkin to talk about.

• Gourd vibes only.

• You’re the pick of the pumpkin patch.

• Hey, gourd looking!

• Carve out some fun this fall.

For the biggest laughs from the fewest words, check out more funny one-liners.

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Fall jokes for kids

• How do you get rid of ghouls?
  Ghost them.

• What do you call a bovine who chases birds?
  A scare-cow.

• What was the Pilgrims’ favorite kind of music?
  Plymouth Rock.

• What is the best fall fairy tale?
  Pumpelstiltskin.

• What did the ghost say on the first day of class?
  “I love going back to ghoul.”

• What is a jack-o’-lantern’s favorite book?
  Are You There, Gourd? It’s Me, Margaret.

• What do you call a bear in the autumn rain?
  A drizzly bear.

• What’s a ghost’s favorite website?
  BooTube.

• What was the poltergeist’s favorite song?
  “You Are So Boo-tiful.”

• What did the pirate do when he found the long-lost treasure under the oak tree?
  He gasped in disbeleaf.

• Why did the tree giggle?
  It heard acorn-y joke.

• Why couldn’t the farmer stop laughing?
  It was time for ha-ha-harvest.

If your kid (or the kid in you) wants more silliness, you’ll love these dog jokes for kids.

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Autumn jokes adults will appreciate

• Fall makes me want to stay home curled up with a good cook.

• Fall is when my mind is in the gutter, along with all the leaves.

• You know you’re an adult when what scares you most about back-to-school season are the credit card bills.

• There’s a new site that matches you with your perfect pumpkin. It’s called Patch.com.

• I love all the fall beverages: spiced cider, hot cocoa and Theraflu.

• I’m done working on my bikini body. I’ve decided to focus on my sweater-weather physique instead.

• Corn is like a teenager: Both have ears, but neither listen.

• My new fall sweater is so fluffy, a farmer just tried to shear me.

• You know it’s fall when you need a hat and scarf in the shade and shorts and sandals in the sun.

• Why is it OK for squirrels to bury nuts in the yard, but when I do it, people call me crazy?

• Fall is the season when you can throw all your leftovers in a pot, add some water and call it “soup.”

• I smell good today. I’m wearing Old Pumpkin Spice deodorant.

• Scientists say trees communicate with one another by emitting chemicals and electrical signals. Much like teenagers.

• The pumpkin has been sitting on the patio for so long that it’s starting to look like a patient on the TV show Botched.

Have a morbid sense of humor? While they may seem a bit taboo, these dark jokes guarentee a good laugh.

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Pumpkin jokes

• What do you call a pumpkin in a suitcase?
  A pack-o’-lantern.

• What do you get when you cut a rectangular pumpkin pie in half?
  Pie R-squared.

• What is a gourd farmer’s favorite sport?
  Squash.

• Where do pumpkins hold meetings?
  In the gourd room.

• How was the month-old jack-o’-lantern like a prehistoric human?
  He was caved in.

• Why did the jack-o’-lantern jump off the bridge?
  She wanted to try rolling on the river.

• Why did the pumpkin leave home?
  He thought it was time to cut the gourd.

• What is a pumpkin’s favorite game show?
  Passgourd.

• What was the jack-o’-lantern doing at the gym?
  Pumpkin iron.

• What do you call a pumpkin that whines a lot?
  A grumpkin.

If you enjoy bringing laughs to the dinner table with these fall jokes about pumpkins, don’t miss these food jokes that are sure to fill you up with laughter.

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Apple jokes

• Why did the apple roll down the hill?
  It was sauced.

• What did the apple say to the caramel sauce?
  Are you sweet on me?

• Why did the apple join a gym?
  To work on its core.

• What did the Granny Smith apple say as she was being diced up for a pie?
  “Honey, stand up straight while you chop! And fix your hair.”

• How can you tell if an apple is a McIntosh?
  Its peel is plaid.

• What did the Yellow Delicious apple say to the Red Delicious apple?
  “Why are you blushing?”

• Why did the apple pie cry?
  Its peelings were hurt.

They say that an apple a day keeps the doctor away. If that doesn’t work, you might need to try some doctor jokes.

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Tree jokes

• What did one tree say to another when they were competing over who had the prettiest leaves?
  “Birch, please!”

• Why do trees hate going back to school?
  Because they get stumped on tests.

• Why did the maple leaf stay green all fall?
  It was afraid of change.

• Why did the tree turn down the wedding proposal?
  Because it already had enough rings.

• What was the acorn’s favorite old TV show?
  Leaf It to Beaver.

• Why did the tree go back to college?
  It wanted to branch out.

• What’s a tree’s favorite subject in school?
  Geome-tree.

• What kind of tree is filled with longing?
  A pine tree.

• Why did the tree wait so long to lose its leaves?
  It was a procras-tree-nator.

• What’s a tree’s favorite song in autumn?
  “Don’t Stop Be-Leafin’.”

• What is a redwood’s favorite NFL team?
  The Giants.

For more jokes about things that grow outside, try our plant puns on for size.

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Fall dad jokes

• What kind of dog protects a pumpkin patch?
  A gourd dog.

• Why do birds fly south in the fall?
  Airline tickets are cheaper than in the spring.

• What do you call an ear of corn wearing a bow tie?
  Dandy corn.

• What do teenagers and fall weather have in common?
  They’re unpredictable and often give you the cold shoulder.

• What should you do when your car slides on wet fall leaves?
  Pump-kin the brakes.

• Why did the scarecrow skip the horror movie?
  He didn’t have the guts to go.

• How did the ghost haunt three houses at the same time?
  She used Boo-tooth.

• Why did the man avoid carved pumpkins?
  He didn’t know Jack.

• What happened to the guy who swallowed a corn cob?
  He had to have a corn-oscopy.

• What month do fires hate?
  No-ember.

As long as there are dads, there will be corny comedy. We’ve rounded up some of the best dad jokes ever.

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Fall knock-knock jokes

• Knock, knock.
  Who’s there?
  Gull.
  Gull who?
  Gull-loshes would be a good idea in this rain.

• Knock, knock.
  Who’s there?
  Butternut.
  Butternut who?
  Butternut go outside. It’s chilly.

• Knock, knock.
  Who’s there?
  Venice.
  Venice who?
  Venice it going to stop raining?

• Knock, knock.
  Who’s there?
  Fall.
  Fall who?
  Follow me. We’re going to look at the fall leaves.

Love one-liners, puns and knock-knock jokes? So do we! And so will your friends and family—so go ahead and share!

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Family-friendly fall jokes

• Every year, my family walks a corn maze. And every year, we get lost. This year, we’re doing a popcorn maze instead.

• The best thing to plant in the fall is your butt in a comfy chair in front of the fire.

• My favorite fall game is How Long Can We Go Before Turning on the Heat for the First Time?

• While my family is leaf-peeping, I’ll be Kansas City Chiefs-peeping.

• I love fall because no matter what your kids wear, you can call it a costume.

• Some people bob for apples at Halloween parties. My family bobs for donuts.

• Not raking leaves is better for the environment and your back. Plus, it gives the snakes somewhere to go instead of your tool shed.

There’s a time and a place for adult jokes and dark humor, but sometimes, it’s best to stick to clean jokes for the whole family.

Why trust us

Reader’s Digest has been telling jokes for more than 100 years, curated and reviewed over the past 20 years by Senior Features Editor Andy Simmons, a humor editor formerly of National Lampoon and the author of Now That’s Funny. We’ve earned prestigious ASME awards for our humor—including comical quips, pranks, puns, cartoons, one-liners, knock-knock jokes, riddles, memes, tweets and stories in laugh-out-loud magazine columns such as “Life in These United States,” “All in a Day’s Work,” “Laughter, the Best Medicine” and “Humor in Uniform,” as well as online collections such as short jokes, dad jokes and bad jokes so bad, they’re great. You can find a century of humor in our 2022 compendium, Reader’s Digest: Laughter, the Best Medicine. For this piece on the best fall jokes, Leigh Anne Jasheway tapped her experience as a comedy writer and stand-up comedian. Read more about our team, our contributors and our editorial policies.