Jokes
Looking for funny jokes? Settle in: You're in the right place. From clean knock-knock jokes and the top corny jokes to hilarious one-liners and clever riddles, we've got the jokes guaranteed to bring on serious laughs.
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It’s an Uncle!
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Love Staying Home
Never All at Once
Rock Crash
Moving Fast
Teddy Dessert
Signed a Fool
Too Much Praise
Teeth Out Too
How am I?
Turtle Recall
Better Than the Recipe
From the Same Place
Tip Jar Humor
He Left for Work
Only Backspace
Learn to Reduce Clutter
Do You Know What That Is?
Don’t Put Fido On
Take the Blame
Following a Friend
Boiling Away
RIP boiling water—you will be mist.
RIP boiling water—you will be mist.
It’s Still Illegal
If a tree falls in the forest and nobody hears, my illegal logging business is a success.
If a tree falls in the forest and nobody hears, my illegal logging business is a success.
End of a Sentence
I wanted to marry my English teacher when she got out of jail, but apparently you can’t end a sentence with a proposition.
I wanted to marry my English teacher when she got out of jail, but apparently you can’t end a sentence with a proposition.
Instrument Sentences
Accordion to a recent survey, replacing words with the names of musical instruments in sentences often goes undetected.
Accordion to a recent survey, replacing words with the names of musical instruments in sentences often goes undetected.
No Commas
No Laughs in the Future
George Washington the Inventor
The Cat’s Taxes
No Suggestions from the Horse
Sheet for Dinner
Bald Baby
Bathroom in the Morning
Next to Someone Different
Personal Mistake
French Not Spanish
It Pays to Do Your Own Work
Simple Questions
Toilet Paper Appreciation
Spelling Sass
One Brick
Short Haircut
Baby Boots
Dryer Fitbit
Gift Cards for Jesus
Fight to Clean
Angry Girlfriend
Not a Nice Hotel
Nervous Around Her Son
Taking the Bull’s Pills
Telepathetic
Lazy Kangaroo
Q: What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A: A pouch potato.
Q: What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A: A pouch potato.
10 Years Isn’t Enough
Garage Dog
Version of Mary
No Oysters For Me
Toyota Disease
Both Love Me
When people hear that my husband and I just celebrated our 60th wedding anniversary, they inevitably ask us the secret to our long, successful marriage. In response, my husband will smile sweetly, nod my way, and explain, “We both love me.”
Military Outfit
George?!
Don’t Listen to the Parrot
A frightened man goes to the secret police and says, “My talking parrot disappeared.”
“Why did you come here? Go to the regular police.”
“I will. I’m just here to tell you that I disagree with whatever that parrot is going to say.”
Kitty Communist
Q: Who is the leader of the Kitty Communist Party?
A: Chairman Meow.
Q: Who is the leader of the Kitty Communist Party?
A: Chairman Meow.
Man vs Man
Q: What is the difference between capitalism and socialism?
A: In a capitalist society, man exploits man, and in a socialist one, it’s the other way around.
Q: What is the difference between capitalism and socialism?
A: In a capitalist society, man exploits man, and in a socialist one, it’s the other way around.
Red Flags
Q: How did we know communism was doomed from the beginning?
A: All the red flags.
Q: How did we know communism was doomed from the beginning?
A: All the red flags.
Proper Tea
Q: Why do Communists drink herbal tea?
A: Because proper tea is theft.
Q: Why do Communists drink herbal tea?
A: Because proper tea is theft.
Riding Attire
What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a unicycle and a well-dressed man on a bicycle? Attire.
What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a unicycle and a well-dressed man on a bicycle? Attire.
Sleeping Dogs
On a Facebook page for beginning artists, one asked, “Any suggestions for painting dogs?” Another responded, “Wait till they’re asleep.”
On a Facebook page for beginning artists, one asked, “Any suggestions for painting dogs?” Another responded, “Wait till they’re asleep.”
Turn at the Cornfield
You Are Just Fine
Our doctor’s office called to let my husband know that the results from his blood tests came back and he was just fine. That didn’t suit my husband.
“What’s my cholesterol level?” he asked.
“Mr. Crocker, you are just fine,” insisted the nurse.
“Still, I’d like you to mail me the results.”
A few days later, he received a postcard from the doctor’s office. It read, “Mr. Crocker, you are just fine!”
18 Months Old
My great-aunt looked confused when I told her that my daughter was 18 months old. “Oh,” she said. “I thought she was a year and a half.”
“But Aunt Marie," I said, “18 months and a year and a half are the same.”
She shrugged. “What do I know? I never had kids.”
Run the Reds
An Uber is cruising down a boulevard when it runs a red light. “Hey!” the passenger shouts. “Be careful!”
“Don’t worry,” says the driver. “My brother does it all the time.”
He barrels through the next red light, and the passenger screams, “Stop doing that!”
“I’m telling you, my brother does this all the time.”
They approach the next light. Just when it turns green, the driver slams on the brakes. The confused passenger asks, “You just ran two red lights; why’d you stop at a green?”
“I had to,” says the driver. “My brother might have been coming.”