Jokes
Looking for funny jokes? Settle in: You're in the right place. From clean knock-knock jokes and the top corny jokes to hilarious one-liners and clever riddles, we've got the jokes guaranteed to bring on serious laughs.
His Favorite is the Double (Christmas) Tree
Turkey Dressing
Get more jokes, puns and riddles
Santa Denier
Like a Turkey
Now I Know My ABCs
Turkey Feathers
Turkey Picnics
Turkey Eggs
Up On the Housetop
Scary Santa
Listen Up, People
Old School
Somebody Stop Me
LOL in RL
Double Parked
Extra Stuffing
String Fight
My ex used to hit me with stringed instruments. If only I had known about her history of violins.
My ex used to hit me with stringed instruments. If only I had known about her history of violins.
Silk Ties
Did you hear about the 2 silk worms in a race? It ended in a tie!
Did you hear about the 2 silk worms in a race? It ended in a tie!
Police Investigation
Someone stole my toilet and the police have nothing to go on.
Someone stole my toilet and the police have nothing to go on.
You Don’t Want to Get Busy in an Elevator
Having sex in an elevator is wrong on so many levels.
Having sex in an elevator is wrong on so many levels.
Don’t Try to Steal a Calendar
Last time I got caught stealing a calendar I got 12 months.
Last time I got caught stealing a calendar I got 12 months.
A Laughing Motorcycle
What do you call a laughing motorcycle? A Yamahahaha.
What do you call a laughing motorcycle? A Yamahahaha.
Toucans
A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but I soon realized that toucan play at that game.
A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but I soon realized that toucan play at that game.
Soda to the Head
Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.
Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.
Brain Transplant
I wasn't originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.
I wasn't originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.
Mistake on the Calendar
I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.
I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.
Tender Wood
A termite walks into a bar and says, "Where is the bar tender?"
A termite walks into a bar and says, "Where is the bar tender?"
Burial Plot
I saw an ad for burial plots, and thought to myself this is the last thing I need.
I saw an ad for burial plots, and thought to myself this is the last thing I need.
Bicycle and Tricycle
What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a bicycle and a nicely dressed man on a tricycle? A tire.
What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a bicycle and a nicely dressed man on a tricycle? A tire.
Spaghetti Bike
I told my mom I was going to make a bike out of spaghetti, you should have seen her face when I rode straight pasta.
I told my mom I was going to make a bike out of spaghetti, you should have seen her face when I rode straight pasta.
The Chronicles of Narnia
What does C.S. Lewis keep at the back of his wardrobe? Narnia business!
What does C.S. Lewis keep at the back of his wardrobe? Narnia business!
Pun Well Done
Origami Fail
I put all my spare cash into an origami business. It folded.
I put all my spare cash into an origami business. It folded.
Run Forrest
What is Forrest Gump's email password? 1Forrest1
What is Forrest Gump's email password? 1Forrest1
You Can’t Afford This Pun
Can Crusher
Why did the can crusher quit his job? Because it was soda pressing.
Why did the can crusher quit his job? Because it was soda pressing.
Kleptomania
I suffer from kleptomania, but when it gets really bad, I take something for it.
I suffer from kleptomania, but when it gets really bad, I take something for it.
Peter Pan
Why is peter pan always flying? He neverlands.
Why is peter pan always flying? He neverlands.
Scared Mathematician
Did you hear about the mathematician who was afraid of negative numbers? He'd stop at nothing to avoid them.
Did you hear about the mathematician who was afraid of negative numbers? He'd stop at nothing to avoid them.
A Messy Library
What did the librarian say when the books were in a mess? We ought to be ashamed of ourshelves!
What did the librarian say when the books were in a mess? We ought to be ashamed of ourshelves!
Socrates’ Students
Who was Socrates’ worst student? Mediocrities. Who was his busiest student? The one with a lot on his Plato
Who was Socrates’ worst student? Mediocrities. Who was his busiest student? The one with a lot on his Plato
Nap Time is Serious Business
Police were called to a daycare center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
Police were called to a daycare center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
There’s an Old Saying…
Acupuncture Treatment
Acupuncture is a jab well done.
Acupuncture is a jab well done.
So That’s Why They’re Red…
Hair Dye
When she saw her first strands of gray, she thought she’d dye.
When she saw her first strands of gray, she thought she’d dye.