When I told my son where milk comes from, he asked, “Mama, how do the cows sit on those little bottles?”
Jokes
Looking for funny jokes? Settle in: You're in the right place. From clean knock-knock jokes and the top corny jokes to hilarious one-liners and clever riddles, we've got the jokes guaranteed to bring on serious laughs.
Tic Tac Dough
April Fool’s Monster
Get more jokes, puns and riddles
Prank: Trap the Mouse
Prank: Help Them Learn a New Language
Prank: Underwear Switch-a-Roo
Prank: Oh No – You Cracked Your Phone!
Prank: Block the Shampoo Bottle
Prank: Power Down the Remotes
Prank: Turn Tap Water Weird Colors
The Easter Bunny Rap
Lucky Rabbits
Hit the Floor
Egg Day
Easter Bunny Jams
Can I See Your License?
Carrot Snacks
I See You
Runny Egg
Space Egg
Easter Love
Sad Bunny
Ticklish Egg
Mischievous Egg
Misbehaved Bunny
Yuck It Up
Easter Eggs
Easter Bunny Exercise
Easter Parade
Cracking Eggs
Breakfast of Champions
Easter Rabbit with Fleas
That’s Egg-cellent!
What’s Up Doc?
Cheese fire
Seeing Purple
Restaurant review
Just the wurst
I quit!
So Sleepy
A+
Call ya later!
Typecasting
All’s We’ll that Ends We’ll
Not Quite Cool as a Cucumber
The Right to Remain Silent
Sunday Best
On Easter one year, I got to see my 5-year-old granddaughter, Julia. I wore my best suit for the holiday.
Julia said, “Grandpa, you look so handsome today. Did you take a shower?”
Saving Grace
My niece made some food for another family at church. She prayed over it, asking the kids if they’d like to add anything. Her 3-year-old daughter, Boston, said, “Thank you, God, that we didn’t give them all of our food.”
For Richer or Poorer
My sister Tina was telling her husband, Kay, about a wonderful program she had watched on TV. The show gave a national award to heroic people who put themselves in grave danger to help out someone they hardly knew. Kay replied, “That sounds a lot like getting married.”
Panicked Preacher
In the late ’50s I was working construction, leveling the corner of a house that we had jacked about 4 inches above the ground. One of the jacks slipped and the house came down with a loud bang.
The next thing we knew, the owner, who was a minister, ran out and looked up at the sky. “I thought the Lord was coming!” he told us. We all had a good laugh.
Practice Makes Perfect
A little girl climbed up onto her grandfather’s lap and asked, “Did God make me?”
“Yes,” the grandpa replied. “Did he make you, too?” “Yes.” “Well,” the girl said, looking at his wrinkles and thinning hair, “he sure is doing a better job nowadays!”
Gone Fishing
My 3-year-old granddaughter, Sydney, told my husband, Ted, and me that she was going fishing with her dad. Ted asked if she was going to use worms. “No,” she said. “I’m going to use a fishing pole.”
Following Directions
A young man was planting some flower seeds on a sweltering day, sweating from the hot sun.
His neighbor said, “You need to wait until the sun goes down, or plant in the morning when it is coolest.” The man said, “I can’t do that. It says on the package, ‘Plant in full sun!’ ”
Dog School
Q: What do dogs do after they finish obedience school?
A: They get their masters.
Q: What do dogs do after they finish obedience school?
A: They get their masters.