A Trusted Friend in a Complicated World

Jokes

Looking for funny jokes? Settle in: You're in the right place. From clean knock-knock jokes and the top corny jokes to hilarious one-liners and clever riddles, we've got the jokes guaranteed to bring on serious laughs.

Where Milk Comes From

When I told my son where milk comes from, he asked, “Mama, how 
do the cows sit on those little bottles?”

Tic Tac Dough

Did you hear the one about the guy who invented Tic Tacs? They say he made a mint.

April Fool’s Monster

Q: What monster plays the most April Fool's jokes?  A: Prankenstein.

Prank: Trap the Mouse

Stick a Post-It or a piece of clear tape over the tracking ball on your parent’s computer mouse to keep it from moving. Watch your parents’ confusion as they try...

Prank: Help Them Learn a New Language

Swap the settings on the TV or their phone so they see everything in Spanish or French instead of English. (Now maybe they can help you with your language homework!)

Prank: Underwear Switch-a-Roo

Make getting ready in the morning a little more challenging for everyone in the family by switching the underwear from one person’s drawer to another. (This is especially funny if...

Prank: Oh No – You Cracked Your Phone!

You can really get your parents fooled by pretending their smart phone screen or yours has been cracked. You can download images or even find online apps that will make...

Prank: Block the Shampoo Bottle

Get your parents and siblings into a lather in the shower by sealing off their shampoo, conditioner, or body wash. To do this, unscrew the cap and place a small...

Prank: Power Down the Remotes

Take the batteries out of every remote in the house to make it impossible to change the channel. (Bonus points if you switch the TV to your favorite channel before...

Prank: Turn Tap Water Weird Colors

Kids, make your parents worry about the water quality with this harmless prank. Use a cotton swab to wipe gel food coloring around the rim of the faucet spout, right...

The Easter Bunny Rap

Q: What is Easter Bunny’s favorite kind of music? A: Hip-hop, of course!

Lucky Rabbits

Q: Why are bunnies the luckiest animals? A: Because they each have four rabbits feet.

Hit the Floor

Q: What the Easter Bunny’s favorite dance move? A: The bunny hop.

Egg Day

Q: What day does an Easter egg hate the most? A: Fry-day

Easter Bunny Jams

Q: What music does the Easter bunny like? A: Hip-hop

Can I See Your License?

Q: Why does Peter Cottontail go hopping down the bunny trail? A: Because he's too young to drive.

Carrot Snacks

Q: What did the Easter bunny say to the carrot? A: It's been nice gnawing you

I See You

Q: Why does the Easter Bunny hide? A: Because he's a little chicken.

Runny Egg

Q: What sport are the eggs good at? A: Running

Space Egg

Q: What do you call an egg from outer space? A: An "Egg-stra terrestial"

Easter Love

Q: What happened when the Easter Bunny met the rabbit of his dreams? A: They lived hoppily ever after

Sad Bunny

Q: Why was the Easter bunny upset? A: He was having a bad hare day

Ticklish Egg

Q: What happened to the egg when he was tickled too much? A: He cracked up.

Mischievous Egg

Q: What do you call a mischievous egg? A: A practical yolker

Misbehaved Bunny

Q: What happened to the Easter bunny at school? A: He was eggspelled

Yuck It Up

Q: What did one Easter egg say to the other? A: Heard any good yolks today?

Easter Eggs

Q: Where does the Easter bunny get his eggs? A: From eggplant

Easter Bunny Exercise

Q: How does the Easter bunny stay fit? A: Eggs-ercise

Easter Parade

Q: What did the Easter bunny say about the Easter parade? A: It was eggs-cellent

Cracking Eggs

Q: What's wrong with Easter jokes? A: They crack you up

Breakfast of Champions

Q: Where does Easter Bunny eat breakfast? A: IHOP

Easter Rabbit with Fleas

Q: What do you call a rabbit with fleas? A: Bugs Bunny

That’s Egg-cellent!

Q: Why is it forbidden to tell a joke to your Easter eggs? A: You wouldn't want to crack them up.

What’s Up Doc?

Q: What do you call a rabbit that can tell a good joke? A: A funny bunny.

Cheese fire

Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded in France? There was nothing left but de Brie.

Seeing Purple

I've just been diagnosed as color blind. I know, it really came out of the purple.

Restaurant review

Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.

Just the wurst

I hate jokes about German sausage. They're the wurst.

I quit!

Why did the can-crusher quit his job? Because it was soda-pressing.

So Sleepy

Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? It was too tired.

A+

Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.

Call ya later!

"I'll call you later." "Don't call me later, call me dad."

Typecasting

I just got fired from my job at the keyboard factory. They told me I wasn't putting in enough shifts.

All’s We’ll that Ends We’ll

We'll we'll we'll...if it isn't autocorrect.

Not Quite Cool as a Cucumber

Q. Which type of vegetable tries to be cool, but is only partly successful at it? A. The radish.

The Right to Remain Silent

The world tongue-twister champion just got arrested. I hear they're gonna give him a really tough sentence.

Sunday Best

On Easter one year, I got to see my 5-year-old granddaughter, Julia. I wore my best suit for the holiday. Julia said, “Grandpa, you look so handsome today. Did you...

Saving Grace

My niece made some food for another family at church. She prayed over it, asking the kids if they’d like to add anything. Her 3-year-old daughter, Boston, said, “Thank you,...

For Richer or Poorer

My sister Tina was telling her husband, Kay, about a wonderful program she had watched on TV. The show gave a national award to heroic people who put themselves in...

Panicked Preacher

In the late ’50s I was ­working construction, leveling the corner of a house that we had jacked about 4 inches above the ground. One of the jacks slipped and...

Practice Makes Perfect

A little girl climbed up onto her grandfather’s lap and asked, “Did God make me?” “Yes,” the grandpa replied. “Did he make you, too?” “Yes.” “Well,” the girl said, looking...

Gone Fishing

My 3-year-old granddaughter, Sydney, told my husband, Ted, and me that she was going fishing with her dad. Ted asked if she was going to use worms. “No,” she said....

Following Directions

A young man was planting some flower seeds on a sweltering day, sweating from the hot sun. His neighbor said, “You need to wait until the sun goes down, or...

Dog School

Q: What do dogs do after they finish obedience school?

A: They get their masters.

How Distasteful

Q. What happened when one cannibal arrived late to the dinner party? A. The others gave him the cold shoulder.

Pardon My French (Fries)

I can't stand potato puns. I think they're pomme de terrible.

Snail Fail

You would think that taking off a snail's shell would make it move faster, but it actually just makes it more sluggish.

Either Oar

The boating store was having a big sale on canoes. It was quite the oar deal.

Ice Pup!

Q: What do you call a frozen dog? A: A pupsicle.

Abra Cadabra!

Q: What do you call a dog magician? A: A labracadabrador.

Yikes!

Q: How did the little Scottish dog feel when he saw a monster? A: Terrier-fied!

OMMM

Q: What do you call a large dog that meditates? A: Aware wolf.

OUCH!

Q: What is black, white, and red all over? A: A sunburnt penguin!

The Big Apple

Q: Why do cows go to New York? A: To see the moosicals!

Vacay, Baby!

Q: Where did the sheep go on vacation? A: The baaaahamas

Beautiful music

Q: Where do orcas hear music? A: Orca-stras!

Power Couple?

I invited my boyfriend to go to the gym with me, but he stood me up. I guess the two of us aren't going to work out.

Courtship Signals

Q. Why shouldn't you marry a tennis player? A. Because Love means nothing to them.

Don’t You Fret

A musician told me he was going to hit me with the neck of his guitar. I replied, "Is that a fret?"

Family Age Jokes

Age is a relative thing. All my relatives keep reminding me how old I am.

Elephant Gift

Q: What did the elephant want for his birthday? A: A trunk full of gifts.

Goldfish Birthday

Q: What do you say to your goldfish on his birthday? A: Have a fin-tastic day.

Golf Cake

Q: When is a birthday cake like a golf ball? A: When you slice it.