91 Music Jokes That Totally Rock
Updated: May 29, 2024
Whether you’re a professional musician or you only sing show tunes in the shower, these funny music jokes will hit just the right note
Who doesn’t love music? Who doesn’t love jokes? OK, so apparently there’s this one guy in North Dakota who’s not crazy about either one, but he may have other issues. For the rest of us, music and jokes are two of life’s greatest pleasures. Combine them into the best music jokes, and it’s almost too much entertainment! But we think you can handle it.
Ahead, you’ll find clever music puns and jokes about everything from pop music and classical composers to piano and guitar jokes—and like the latest viral TikTok song, you won’t be able to get them out of your head. And unlike that song, that’s a good thing!
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Funniest music jokes
- Which legendary creature keeps musical time best?
A metro-gnome.
- Why did the chorus hire the baseball player?
Because he had perfect pitch.
- Why did the drummer complain about his salad?
It didn’t have any beats.
- What’s a cowboy’s favorite place to listen to music?
The O.K. Chorale.
- What is the most musical part of a snake?
The scales.
- What type of songs does the new band Duvet play?
Covers.
- What’s an avocado’s favorite music?
Guac ‘n’ roll.
- What do you get when you play New Age music backward?
New Age music.
- Why do bagpipe players walk while they play?
To get away from the noise.
- What’s the difference between a piano and a tuna?
You can tune a piano, but you can’t piano a tuna.
- What happened when C, E-flat and G walked into the bar?
The bartender said, “Sorry, we don’t serve minors.”
- Why was the musician fired?
The conductor found him too high-flute-in.
- Why was music coming from the printer?
The paper was jamming.
- Why did the girl note break up with the boy note?
He was too sharp with her.
- What is a golf club’s favorite type of music?
Swing.
- Wanna hear a joke about staccato?
Never mind—it’s too short.
Looking for more laughs? Try these short jokes that anyone can remember.
Classical music jokes
- What did Beethoven say to Johann Sebastian when he was helping him parallel park?
“Bach it up.”
- Which composer likes tea the most?
Chai-kovsky.
- Which one of the Three Stooges was the biggest classical music fan?
Fortissi-Moe.
- What was Beethoven’s favorite fruit?
BA-NA-NA-NAAAAAA.
- What is Vivaldi doing now?
De-composing.
- Why did Mozart get rid of his chickens?
All they said was, “Bach, Bach, Bach.”
- Why couldn’t the string quartet find their composer?
He was Haydn.
- Why didn’t Handel go shopping?
Because he was baroque.
- What’s the difference between a conductor and God?
God doesn’t think he’s a conductor.
- Why couldn’t the classical composer concentrate in the saloon?
There was too much Bartók.
- What is a classical music fan’s favorite beverage?
Scarla-tea.
Drink to that music joke and more with these clever tea puns.
Pop music jokes
- What computer will most likely win the Grammy?
A Dell.
- What song do vampires hate?
“House of the Rising Sun.”
- What do a good pop song and the measles have in common?
They’re both catchy.
- What is the goal of a musician and a gangster?
A lot of hits.
- What kind of music are balloons afraid of?
Pop music.
- What part of a turkey is musical?
The drumstick.
- Which one of Santa’s helpers was the best singer?
Elf-is Presley.
- What song do tornadoes love?
“The Twist.”
- What do a harmonica and a lawsuit have in common?
Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.
If you liked that one, check out these lawyer jokes that any jury would agree are hilarious.
Guitar jokes
- What do a guitar player’s fingers and lightning have in common?
They never strike in the same place twice.
- What’s the difference between a pop guitarist and a jazz guitarist?
A pop guitarist plays three chords in front of a thousand people. A jazz guitarist plays a thousand chords in front of three people.
- Why did the musician break up with his guitar?
There were too many strings attached.
- What’s a pirate’s favorite instrument?
The guit-arrrr!
- What did the guitarist use to electronically raise and lower his blinds?
A power chord.
- Why did the guitarist use a fish to play his instrument?
Because it was a bass guitar.
- How did the musician get such a perfect sound underwater?
By tuna-ing his guitar.
- What did the mama guitarist say to the baby guitarist?
“Don’t fret.”
- What does a guitarist recommend for your nose?
A pick.
- What do a guitarist and Paul Bunyon have in common?
They both carry an ax.
- What does a guitarist have in common with a pirate?
Both are known for using a hook.
- What does a guitarist prefer on his toast?
Jam.
- What’s a guitarist’s favorite name for a woman?
Melody.
- What’s a guitarist’s favorite dairy product?
String cheese.
OK, that one was a little cheesy—but in the best way possible! Here are more brie-lliant cheese puns to expand your humor palette.
Piano jokes
- What do you call it when a jazz singer spills a drink on his piano?
Ragtime.
- Why was the piano laughing?
Because someone was tickling its ivories.
- Which kind of birth control did the pianist prefer?
The rhythm method.
- What are a pianist and a sports fan both interested in?
The score.
- What’s a pianist’s favorite snack?
A Clef Bar.
- Which automotive challenge is a pianist most familiar with?
A flat.
- What kind of sink does a pianist like best?
Syncopation.
- What do you call a laughing piano?
A Yama-hahaha.
- Where do pianists go on vacation?
The Florida Keys.
- Did you hear the one about the pianist convention?
They had several keynote speakers.
- I asked a pianist if he could play the “Chickpea Song.”
He said, “Maybe. Can you hummus a few bars?”
- What happens if you drop a piano on a military base?
You get A-flat major.
Who knew the armed forces could provide so many LOLs? Actually, we did! Check out these hilarious military jokes next.
Country music jokes
- What happens when you play country music backward?
Your wife returns to you, your dog comes back to life and you get out of prison.
- How many country singers does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two. One to do it and one to sing a song about all the good times he had with the old lightbulb.
- Why aren’t tubas used in country bands?
Because they’re heavy metal.
- Which Star Wars character is a country music fan’s favorite?
Garth Vader.
- Why did the homeowner complain to his gardener?
Because he had bluegrass.
- What is a frog’s favorite Willie Nelson song?
“On the Toad Again.”
- Why doesn’t Garth Brooks enjoy mountain climbing?
Because he has friends in low places.
- How did Tammy Wynette stay cool on hot days?
She would stand by her fan.
- How does a country musician use “tuba” in a sentence?
“Hey, Sally, could you hand me that tuba toothpaste?”
Now that you’ve got all things country on your mind, enjoy this somewhat random segue and these eggs-traordinarily funny chicken puns!
Rap and hip-hop music jokes
- Why can’t rappers take vacations?
They always forget Tupac.
- What do frogs and rabbits have in common?
They both like hip-hop.
- What do you call a rap-battle event between lizards?
A reptile diss function.
- What would Bill Gates say to finish off his rap song?
“Word.”
- My girlfriend is kicking me out of the house because I’m obsessed with rap.
She told me Tupac my bags and leave.
- What is Albert Einstein’s rapper name?
MC Hammer Squared.
- What do you call someone who raps about women’s rights?
Feminem.
- What kind of music is best for packaging purple vegetables?
Beatboxing.
- What’s a hip-hop artist’s favorite adhesive?
Mixtape.
- What is a rapper’s favorite candy?
Eminems.
Looking to impress a tough crowd? These funny jokes for teens should do the trick!
Musician jokes
- How did Elvis Presley prefer his chopped salad?
All shook up.
- Why can’t Elton John relax on the weekend?
Because Saturday night’s all right for fighting.
- Why was God annoyed by Bob Dylan?
He kept knockin’ on heaven’s door.
- Why did Linda Ronstadt’s chef improve?
He got tired of her telling him, “You’re no good.”
- How can you tell your relationship with Taylor Swift is over?
Your birthday-cake icing spells out “We Are Never Getting Back Together.”
- Why did parents not want their daughters to date Bruce Springsteen?
He kept taking them to the tunnel of love.
- Why did Prince’s parents send him to the optometrist?
He kept seeing purple rain.
- How does Joni Mitchell clean her dishes?
By washing them on both sides now.
- Why did Neil Diamond argue with his wife on their wedding day?
Because she hated that he was forever in blue jeans.
- What did Barbra Streisand say to the King of England?
“Please don’t reign on my parade.”
Many of these musical superstars are often referred to as GOATs—the Greatest of All Time. We have the next best thing: goat puns that are so baaad, they’re good.
Why trust us
Reader’s Digest has been telling jokes for more than 100 years, curated and reviewed over the last 20 years by Senior Features Editor Andy Simmons, a humor editor formerly of National Lampoon and the author of Now That’s Funny. We’ve earned prestigious ASME awards for our humor—including comical quips, pranks, puns, cartoons, one-liners, knock-knock jokes, riddles, memes, tweets and stories in laugh-out-loud magazine columns such as “Life in These United States,” “All in a Day’s Work,” “Laughter, the Best Medicine” and “Humor in Uniform,” as well as online collections such as short jokes, dad jokes and bad jokes so bad, they’re great. You can find a century of humor in our 2022 compendium, Reader’s Digest: Laughter, the Best Medicine. For this story on the funniest music jokes, Mark Miller tapped his decades-long experience as a stand-up comedian and humor writer for sitcoms, variety shows and nationally syndicated humor columns and radio shows. Read more about our team, our contributors and our editorial policies.
Originally Published: May 28, 2024
