Most people thought Prince William and Prince Harry were always inseparable—but were they? Here's what royal experts say.
The Surprising Truth About Prince William and Prince Harry’s Relationship
Updated Oct. 04, 2024
Prince William and Prince Harry shared a seemingly unbreakable bond from the time they were kids—until Harry fell in love with Meghan Markle and things turned sour between the pair (and the rest of “The Firm”). Or at least that’s been the story we’ve been told for years. But what if we told you that the brothers’ bond wasn’t always as close as we were led to believe? According to royal biographer Ingrid Seward’s recent conversation with the Sun in the U.K., the princes weren’t exactly BFFs while their mother was alive. And Seward got that information from Princess Diana herself, noting that she and Diana “talked about it quite a lot” before the latter’s untimely death.
So what was really going on behind the palace walls for all these years? “The tale of the inseparable brothers is one we all made up in our mind and wanted to believe,” royal expert Richard Fitzwilliams tells Reader’s Digest. “In real life, it seems it’s all a lot more complicated than we thought.”
Reader’s Digest spoke with Fitzwilliams to find out more about Harry and William’s relationship. Read on to find out what they were really like as kids—and if they’re likely to reconcile anytime soon.
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What was William and Harry’s relationship like when they were children?
Simply put, it was complicated. Sure, we all remember the cute pictures and videos of the princes with Princess Diana—skiing in the Alps, having a blast at amusement parks and mastering their riding skills at Balmoral in Scotland. And while the brothers did genuinely seem to enjoy each other’s company when out and about, that wasn’t the full picture. “We are now learning that there has been a rivalry between the two brothers for decades, which might explain why things turned bitter so quickly in more recent times,” says Fitzwilliams.
According to Seward, Diana was well aware of the princes’ rocky relationship and was especially “worried” about her youngest. “All Harry wanted to do was have his mother to himself,” she told the Sun. “He would sometimes pretend that he was ill at school, so she could pick him up and take him home, so he could sit and watch television with her all afternoon.”
And Prince Harry doesn’t remember those aforementioned family outings quite as fondly as we do. In his controversial book Spare, he claims that his older brother tried to distance himself from him, especially when in public. “Willy always hated it when anyone made the mistake of thinking us as a package deal,” he writes. “He loathed it when Mummy dressed us up in the same outfits. (It didn’t help that her taste in children’s clothes ran to the extreme; we often looked like the twins from Alice in Wonderland.)”
What was the source of the conflict?
Aside for vying for their mother’s affection, it boiled down to the brothers’ respective roles in monarchy and their places in the royal family tree: heir and spare. According to Seward, Princess Diana said, “I worry for Harry, and I’m really, really careful that he’s not treated differently than William.” However, adds Seward, “it was planted very, very young—that seed of William having the privilege. And Harry, of course, didn’t really understand.”
Fitzwilliams notes that this sentiment is very clear in Spare as well. “It seems he very much felt like the spare to the heir, even during his childhood. He thought he was the one that was always picked on, the one who got less attention and even a smaller room when they all spent the summer in Balmoral,” Fitzwilliams explains. “While everyone was well aware of his brother being the future king, Harry’s role was essentially to be there just in case something happened to William. The title of his book, Spare, implies that he resented being second to William.”
But, Fitzwilliams adds, even though Harry might have felt like he always played second fiddle to his big brother, there’s a good chance that William was also envious of the freedom Harry enjoyed. He says this became apparent later in life, when the brothers joined the military and Harry was allowed to serve in Afghanistan twice while William had to stay at home. “William would have loved to go to the front as well,” Fitzwilliams says, “but it wasn’t considered acceptable to risk losing the heir to the throne.”
When did their relationship change?
Both Seward and Fitzwilliams agree that William and Harry’s relationship changed when Princess Diana tragically died in a car accident in Paris in 1997. The brothers, 15 and 12 at the time, seemed to put their differences aside to support each other. “It was a tremendous tragedy that affected the whole word, but of course, most of all the two young princes. It’s only natural that they grew closer during that time,” says Fitzwilliams. “Everyone still remembers the moment they walked side by side behind her coffin—it might have also been what sparked the whole idea of the inseparable brothers in the first place.”
Harry himself recounts in his book that his family discussed sparing him the walk. But, he writes, “I didn’t want Willy to undergo an ordeal like that without me. Had the roles been reversed, he’d never have wanted me—indeed, allowed me—to go it alone.” What better proof could there be of sibling love?
In hindsight, Harry said the brothers shouldn’t have been asked to walk behind the coffin “under any circumstances” in the first place, while William called it a “collective family decision” in an interview with the BBC in 2017: “There is that balance between duty and family, and that’s what we had to do.”
What role did Meghan Markle play in the current rift?
As we all know, the brothers didn’t end up having each other’s backs for life. “When Meghan came into the picture, the rift reached a new level and turned into a public one,” says Fitzwilliams. Harry opened up about William’s resentments regarding his now wife in Spare, mentioning one argument in which, as he claims his brother called Meghan “difficult,” “rude” and “abrasive.” Harry promptly knock him to the floor. In 2019, three years after his first date with Meghan, Harry confessed in an ITV interview that he and William were “on different paths” and were no longer seeing each other much, but that they would “always be brothers” and that he loved him “dearly.”
The relationship between Harry and William has since further worsened, with Harry and Meghan stepping down as senior royals and the brothers reportedly no longer on speaking terms. “Harry claims he texted his brother when he heard that the queen’s health was deteriorating and William didn’t reply,” Fitzwilliams says. More recently, in August 2024, the brothers both attended their uncle Lord Robert Fellowes’s funeral but didn’t exchange even a polite few words at the church—a fact that “sums up the whole situation,” according to Fitzwilliams.
Will William and Harry ever reconcile?
We really hope so … but Fitzwilliams believes it’s unlikely that we’ll see a reconciliation anytime soon. “After the book, the Netflix show and the interviews, William probably regards Harry as totally untrustable,” Fitzwilliams says. “Plus, now their attitudes are different, and their worlds are different. Harry went into exile, as he thought the royal family treated him badly, and now the Sussexes are monetizing his family roots while at the same time publicly criticizing The Firm.” And while most royal fans seem to blame Meghan for the never-ending feud, Fitzwilliams thinks it’s equally possible that “Meghan could have been just Harry’s excuse to quit the royals.”
But it may be in both of their best interests to mend fences. The public rift cost the royal family popularity and casts a shadow on the Harry and Meghan’s charity work. Considering the health issues of King Charles III and Princess Kate, it might be time for a fresh start. But, Fitzwilliams says, if there is a new chapter for Harry and William, they “have a very long way to go.”
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At Reader’s Digest, we’re committed to producing high-quality content by writers with expertise and experience in their field in consultation with relevant, qualified experts. We rely on reputable primary sources, including government and professional organizations and academic institutions as well as our writers’ personal experience where appropriate. For this piece on Princess Diana’s worst day, Astrid Hofer tapped her experience as a London-based journalist with more than 20 years of experience covering topics including the British royal family. We verify all facts and data, back them with credible sourcing and revisit them over time to ensure they remain accurate and up to date. Read more about our team, our contributors and our editorial policies.
Sources:
- Richard Fitzwilliams, royal expert; phone interview, Sept. 30, 2024
- Spare by Prince Harry
- The Sun: “Royal Feud: It’s a myth that William and Harry were always close—Princess Diana told me the truth”
- BBC: “Prince Harry says no royal wants to be king or queen”
- BBC: “Prince Harry on William: ‘We are on different paths'”
- The Guardian: “Prince Harry details physical attack by brother William in new book”
- Entertainment Tonight: “Late Princess Diana’s sweetest moments with sons Prince William and Prince Harry”
Originally Published: October 04, 2024
