103 Byte-Sized Computer Jokes That Deliver Big Laughs
Updated: May 17, 2024
Ready to throw your laptop out the window? Take a deep breath and read these hilarious computer jokes instead.
Ask anyone and they’ll tell you that computers have completely changed the way we glare at our screens and yell, “Why me?!” Having a sense of humor (and an ace IT department) can ease the frustration of system bugs, damaged hard drives, emails that disappear into the ether and other terrors of technology. And that’s exactly why you need these computer jokes in your life. The best jokes will give you something to laugh about when you want to cry because you have to clear your cache and try to remember every single one of your passwords yet again.
Ahead, connect to our collection of computer comedy, filled with funny short jokes, one-liners, knock-knock jokes and more. You’ll be the hit of the office, and better yet, you can ignore your tech woes for just a little while longer.
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Funniest computer jokes
- What do you call a cat who wants to sit on you when you’re working on your computer?
A laptop.
- Why did the computer show up at work late?
It had a hard drive.
- Did you hear about the octopus who stopped printing?
It ran out of ink!
- Did you hear about the raccoon who was evicted?
It was moved to trash.
- What did the computer confess at the concert?
“I like big bytes and I cannot lie.”
- How does a computer get drunk?
It takes screenshots.
- Why did the PowerPoint Presentation cross the road?
To get to the other slide.
- What swashbuckling feline had to keep turning off its computer?
Puss in Reboots.
- What do you call a sleepy little computer?
A naptop!
- What kind of music is rooted in a set of computer commands?
Algorithm and Blues.
- Did you hear the one about the broken computer that needed a place to stay?
It had nowhere to crash.
- What did the teacher say to the Disney insect learning to use a computer mouse?
“Jiminy, click it!”
- Have you heard of the new band called 1023 Megabytes?
They’re pretty good, but they don’t have a gig just yet.
- Why shouldn’t you use “beef stew” as a computer password?
It’s not stroganoff.
- What’s the biggest lie in the entire universe?
“I have read and agree to the Terms & Conditions.”
- What did the Wall Street computer say to impress the woman at the bar?
“You know, I have a lot of cache.”
- Why did the man get fired from his job at the keyboard factory?
He wasn’t putting in enough shifts.
- Why did the Windows tech guy get in trouble for goofing off on a Mac?
His jokes weren’t PC.
- What was Obi-Wan Kenobi’s advice to Jedis with computer problems?
“May the force-quit be with you.”
If you loved that last one, these Star Wars jokes will be right up your alley.
IT jokes
- Did you hear about the cyclops whose computer crashed?
He called Eye-T.
- Who do stoners call when they have computer problems?
High-T.
- Why did SpongeBob call IT?
He needed help bubble-shooting.
- Who do witches use to fix computer problems?
IT hexperts.
- Why is Halloween an IT guy’s least favorite holiday?
There’s a ghost in the machine.
- What do IT workers call “the talk” they have with their children?
The birds and the US-Bees.
- What do you call a popular program about technology experts?
Must-See IT.
- What do IT guys say when they totally get your frustration?
“Word.”
- Did you hear about the IT guy who was falsely arrested?
He was mainframed.
- How does IT generally solve problems with email?
They give it a positive Outlook.
While you’re waiting for IT to fix your computer, crack up your co-workers with these funny work-from-home jokes.
Tech jokes
- Why did the polar bear call tech support?
His screen was frozen.
- How many technical-support agents does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Press 1 to continue.
- What is the funniest tech hub in California?
Silly-con Valley.
- What do you get when you cross a dog with a tech CEO?
Bark Zuckerberg.
- What doubles as a dance club and computer help desk?
Disco-tech support.
- What did the tech-repair guy say when he couldn’t figure out the computer problem?
“It’s all Geek to me!”
- Did you hear about the computer tech who gained weight?
He was bad at managing cookies.
- Why shouldn’t you name your boat after anything computer-related?
It’ll have a greater chance of syncing.
- Who did Captain Kirk call when his computer crashed?
Star Trek support.
- Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account?
They were Prime mates.
- What do kids call Macbook chargers?
Apple juice!
For more humor that will make a pint-sized audience laugh, check out these funny jokes for kids.
Punny Wi-Fi jokes
- What do you get when you cross a demon assassin with a slow streaming service?
Buffering the Vampire Slayer.
- What do you get when you cross painted performance artists with a wireless connection?
Blue Man Tooth.
- What kind of connection do trapeze artists use to log onto the internet?
High-wireless.
- Which country has the slowest Wi-Fi?
Germany. It’s the wurst!
- The answer: A turtle and Wi-Fi.
The question: What are two things that run slow?
- How would you describe Shakespeare’s connection?
Bard wired.
- What do Hawaii and an area with a good internet connection have in common?
They’re both hotspots.
- What message pops up on Russian computers when you can’t get a Wi-Fi signal?
Inter-nyet.
- How could you tell the college town had bad Wi-Fi?
It didn’t have enough bars.
- Why did the router and modem fall in love?
They had a great connection.
Awwww! Here are some flirty knock-knock jokes sure to make your sweetheart smile.
Video-conferencing jokes
- Why is it hard to hear the X-Men on a video conference call?
Because they’re mutant.
- What Dr. Seuss character likes to make side comments on Zoom?
The Cat in the Chat.
- How do monsters show documents on Zoom?
They share their screams.
- What do you call an online meeting of pirates?
A webin-arrgh.
- What has four arms, four legs, two giant faces and likes to Zoom?
Your parents!
- Why did the boss ignore his assistant’s suggestion on Zoom?
It was a mute point.
- What do elves use to make themselves more visible on Zoom?
Phonebooks.
- What did the conductor tell the woodwind section on Zoom?
“You’re on flute.”
- What do you call someone who trims their beard while Zooming?
A screen shaver.
- Why didn’t anyone laugh at the jokes on the Teams meeting?
They weren’t even remotely funny.
Think these computer quips are funny? These hilarious (and relatable) work memes will also help you get through the week.
Funny autocorrect one-liners
- We’ll we’ll we’ll … if it isn’t autocorrect.
- Autocorrect can go straight to he’ll.
- Autocorrect has become my worst enema.
- I tried to say, “I’m a functional adult,” but my phone changed it to “fictional adult,” and I feel like that’s more accurate.
- Thanks to autocorrect, 1 in 5 children will be getting a visit from Satan this Christmas.
- The guy who invented autocorrect for smartphones passed away today. Restaurant in peace.
- No one in the history of texting ever has meant to write “ducking.”
- Raise your hand if you’ve ever felt personally victimized by autocorrect.
If you liked those, here are more funny one-liners for every situation.
Corny computer jokes
- What do you get when you cross a unit of data with a female pop singer?
A Gaga byte.
- What do you get when you cross unwanted junk messages with a Dr. Seuss book?
Green Eggs and Spam.
- What do you get when you cross a website address with Chinese noodles?
Chicken Domain.
- What document format do insects use?
Flea-DF.
- What did the robot say to its superior?
“AI, captain!”
- What do you call a rabbit that cleans keyboards?
Compressed hare.
- What did the parrot say when it wanted to get inside its owner’s computer?
“Polly wants a hacker!”
- What mythical sea creature likes to spell its name in larger letters?
The Caps Locked Ness Monster.
- Which text file do SpongeBob’s friends prefer?
Squidword.
- What did the computer say to the cute iPhone at the bar?
“Wanna get out of here and grab a byte?”
- Did you hear about the guy who missed his old browser?
He was Chrome-sick.
- What is an Apple employee’s favorite pasta dish?
Imac and cheese.
- What do you get when you cross people who break into computers with a caramel-coated popcorn snack?
Hacker Jacks.
- What gaming console do witches like to use?
Hex-box.
- What do you get when you cross a software feature that corrects mistakes with a cereal?
Spell Chex.
- What do ghosts use to organize data?
Spreadsheets.
- What is a street performer’s favorite font?
Mimes New Roman.
If you laughed at those despite yourself, you won’t be able to resist these hilarious dad jokes either.
Short computer jokes
- What did Bugs Bunny say when he opened his online word processor?
“What’s up, Google Doc?”
- What form of digital payment does Superman avoid?
Crypto-nite currency.
- What is a waste-collecting robot’s favorite form of communication?
Wall-E-mails.
- What comic book dealt with the horrors of digital currency?
Tales from the Crypto.
- How do dads manage applications on their computers?
With a pop-erating system.
- What AI system does a badly behaved child use?
BratGPT.
- What does an archer use to move a cursor?
The bow and arrow key.
- What portable document format do New York City cops use?
NYPDF.
- How many units of storage does Stephen King have on his computer?
One terror byte.
- What do you call an indie rock group that sings about computers?
An Alt-Delete band.
- What computer programs do spoken-word musicians use?
Rapplications.
- What did the Human Torch enter to log into his computer?
His user flame.
- How did the queen transmit the document to her computer?
She crownloaded it.
Looking for more byte-sized humor? Try these hilarious short jokes anyone can remember.
Computer knock-knock jokes
- Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Skip.
Skip who?
Skip the pleasantries. What’s wrong with your Wi-Fi?
- Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Data.
Data who?
Data boy—good job on your project!
- Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Modem.
Modem who?
Modem crooks are after Larry and Curly!
- Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Boo.
Boo who?
Don’t cry—I’ll fix your computer, I promise!
- Knock, knock.
Who’s there?”
[Extremely long pause]
Java.
- Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Cache.
Cache who?
Cache me if you can, slowpoke!
Next, check out more of the funniest knock-knock jokes on the internet that will “knock” their socks off.
Why trust us
Reader’s Digest has been telling jokes for more than 100 years, curated and reviewed over the last 20 years by Senior Features Editor Andy Simmons, a humor editor formerly of National Lampoon and the author of Now That’s Funny. We’ve earned prestigious ASME awards for our humor—including comical quips, pranks, puns, cartoons, one-liners, knock-knock jokes, riddles, memes, tweets and stories in laugh-out-loud magazine columns such as “Life in These United States,” “All in a Day’s Work,” “Laughter, the Best Medicine” and “Humor in Uniform,” as well as online collections such as short jokes, dad jokes and bad jokes so bad, they’re great. You can find a century of humor in our 2022 compendium, Reader’s Digest: Laughter, the Best Medicine. For this story on the funniest computer jokes, Peter Charkalis tapped his experience as a comedy writer for late-night TV shows including The Arsenio Hall Show, The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson and The Late Late Show with Craig Kilborn. Read more about our team, our contributors and our editorial policies.
Originally Published: May 17, 2024
