How much should you spend on an engagement ring? Here’s what to know before you buy.
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How Much Should You Spend on an Engagement Ring?
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Will you marry me? People dream of the moment they get engaged, often citing it as one of the happiest days of their lives. And while, sure, you can just pop the question, doing it with an engagement ring is a powerful symbol of your love and commitment. So, while you’re looking at sparkly little works of art and learning all about cuts, color and clarity, your other big question will likely be: How much should you spend on an engagement ring?
The short answer? Perhaps not as much as you think. “If I could bust two big myths about buying engagement and wedding rings, it would be the idea that you have to spend a lot to show your love and because it’s an ‘investment piece’ for your future,” says Grant Speed, a gemologist. “Neither of these are true, and thinking this way can get you into financial hot water quickly.”
Since this may be one of the biggest single purchases you ever make, Reader’s Digest spoke with engagement-ring specialists Grant and Carrie Speed, certified financial counselor LaDonna Cook and celebrity wedding planner Donnie Brown to guide you through the process. Keep reading to find out the average cost of an engagement ring, how much you should spend and what really constitutes the perfect ring. We hope this information makes your ring-buying experience a lot more freeing, fun and, ultimately, more affordable.
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How much should you spend on an engagement ring?
The answer is as much practical as it is romantic: Spend only how much you can afford without going into long-term debt. “There just isn’t a concrete rule for what you should spend on an engagement ring anymore,” says Cook. “In the past, you may have heard something like ‘spend at least two or three months’ salary,’ but that is more marketing than real advice. It does not consider stagnation of wages, increases in prices, new trends of student-loan debt and more.”
To figure out exactly what you can afford and how much to spend on an engagement ring, Cook recommends taking a holistic look at your financial situation. This includes:
- Your current and predicted income, including your average monthly income
- Your regular bills, like rent, utilities, food and medical care
- Your current credit card debt
- Your longer-term debt, like car, student and home loans
- Where you live (prices for rings vary widely around the country)
- How much you have in savings
- Large future expenses
- Your partner’s opinions, as this will likely become a joint debt
Sound overwhelming? Before you pick the perfect sparkler to slide onto your beloved’s ring finger, check out this simple engagement ring calculator, which takes into account other factors like your future goals and current lifestyle. “The important thing to remember when deciding how much to spend on an engagement ring is that it’s just one part of your life together as a couple,” says Grant, adding that you’ll have several large major expenses in the near future that will impact you far more than the ring—think: the wedding, honeymoon, purchasing a home and/or having children.
You should also avoid buying an engagement or wedding ring as an investment piece. “In the past, people saw jewelry as an important part of their household wealth,” explains Grant. “But the truth is, it is a depreciating asset, and you’ll never be able to sell your ring for what you bought it for.”
How much does the average engagement ring cost?
The average cost of an engagement ring is about $5,500, according to The Knot’s 2023 Jewelry and Engagement Study. That said, prices vary widely based on the source of the stone, cut, clarity, setting, whether the ring is custom-made or off the shelf, and the jeweler, says Grant.
Of course, you can find rings in any price range, so what are people actually paying? Couples in the mid-Atlantic region are the big spenders, shelling out around $6,900 for the perfect ring. Meanwhile, those in the Midwest are more budget-conscious, typically spending about $4,900 on an engagement ring.
Should you insure an engagement ring?
Yes, you should always insure your engagement ring, wedding rings and any other pieces of fine jewelry, says Grant.
The first step is getting an independent appraisal of your ring, and contrary to popular belief, you don’t want it to appraise for a surprisingly high number. “People think that means they got a great deal, but in reality it means that you’ll pay more for insurance premiums and yet you won’t make that much money back if you ever try to sell it because the jeweler likely sold it to you at the market value,” explains Carrie.
Once you have it appropriately appraised, you will generally need to purchase a separate rider for the ring on another insurance policy, like your homeowners insurance. “People often assume their homeowners insurance automatically covers their rings, but this usually isn’t the case,” explains Grant, adding that you can add a ring rider to nearly any type of insurance policy, including renters insurance and car insurance. Speak to your insurance agent for more information about what your policy covers and any changes you would need to make to insure your rings.
How can you save money on an engagement ring?
Don’t worry—it’s possible to keep costs down without sacrificing quality or beauty. Here’s how to do it, according to the experts we spoke with.
Pay cash or get a personal loan
The No. 1 mistake people make when buying an engagement ring is using the store financing, says Grant. Big-box jewelry stores will heavily push their own in-house finance options, which come with very high interest rates. They often make more money on the financing than the ring itself. The solution is to either pay in cash or get a personal loan through your own bank before shopping, he says.
Use credit cards wisely
Cook doesn’t generally advise making large purchases like engagement rings on a credit card because they have very high interest rates, but they can save you money if you’re smart about it. There are two things to look for: cards that offer airline miles, money back or points that could be used toward your honeymoon; and cards that insure the ring through the credit card company. “Just make sure you have a plan to pay it off immediately,” she adds.
Make the proposal the surprise, not the ring
This is a ring your beloved will (hopefully) wear for the rest of their life, so one of the top etiquette rules of getting engaged is to make sure it’s something they really love—which usually means shopping with them before the proposal, at least to get an idea of what they like, says Brown. If you surprise them with a ring they don’t love, they may feel pressured to accept it anyway because they want to say yes to the proposal.
Be flexible about stone options
These days, lab-created diamonds are about 30% cheaper than those mined from the earth, and they’re generally indistinguishable from traditional diamonds, even to trained gemologists. “Plus, they’re more ethical, sustainably sourced and better for the environment,” says Carrie. She adds that many couples now are looking at more unique options like moissanites, colored gems, sapphires and pearls—although you should talk to your jeweler about the durability of those stones and how to set them so they last. “It’s still true that nothing is as hard as a diamond,” she notes.
Research the price of metal
Metal prices, like everything else, have skyrocketed over the past few years, but they do go up and down with the market. Do your research and look for a good time to buy the metal you’re interested in, or consider a metal that is more affordable at that time. For instance, while you may really want platinum or titanium, you can often get the same look for less by using a different metal, like white gold, says Carrie. You can also save money by choosing a premade band style rather than making it custom.
Another pro tip: Don’t limit your search to things named “engagement” rings—many cocktail rings work just as beautifully. You should also know the times of the year when it’s cheaper to buy certain items, including fine jewelry.
Talk to your soon-to-be husband or wife
Open and honest communication is Cook’s top tip. “Financial issues are one of the top things couples fight about and can really affect the relationship. Use this as an opportunity to practice talking about money,” she says, adding that you should do this even if you want the ring itself to be a surprise. “Discussing how much you should pay for an engagement ring could be one of your first open conversations about money and an important step toward your and your partner’s future financial success.”
Look at heirlooms, not pawn shops
Do you have a ring that’s been in the family for generations? These make beautiful and sentimental engagement rings, says Cook. You can even take the existing stone and put it in a new setting to freshen it up. Some jewelers offer secondhand rings at a lower price as well. Avoid buying secondhand from pawn shops, though, as you can’t know what you’re really getting, says Grant.
Once you’ve decided how much you should spend on an engagement ring and have found “the one,” it’s time to move on to other pre-wedding plans—including figuring out the best wedding registries and which wedding traditions you should incorporate into your big day.
About the experts
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Reader’s Digest has published hundreds of etiquette stories that help readers navigate communication in a changing world. We regularly cover topics such as the best messages to send for any occasion, polite habits that aren’t as polite as they seem, email and texting etiquette, business etiquette, tipping etiquette, travel etiquette and more. We’re committed to producing high-quality content by writers with expertise and experience in their field in consultation with relevant, qualified experts. We rely on reputable primary sources, including government and professional organizations and academic institutions as well as our writers’ personal experience where appropriate. For this piece on how much to spend on an engagement ring, Charlotte Hilton Andersen tapped her experience as a longtime journalist who specializes in etiquette and communication for Reader’s Digest. We verify all facts and data, back them with credible sourcing and revisit them over time to ensure they remain accurate and up to date. Read more about our team, our contributors and our editorial policies.
Sources:
- Carrie and Grant Speed, engagement-ring specialists and co-owners of Jewelfire Diamonds
- LaDonna Cook, certified financial counselor with GreenPath Financial Wellness
- Donnie Brown, celebrity wedding planner from the Style Network series Whose Wedding Is It Anyway? and founder of Donnie Brown Weddings and Events
- The Knot: “Here’s the Average Engagement Ring Cost in 2023 According to Data”
- Fidelity: “How much should you spend on wedding rings?”