55 Accounting Jokes That Really Add Up
Updated: May 06, 2024
These funny accounting jokes will really do a number on you!
Accounting is something we rarely associate with humor. After all, what’s so funny about complicated tax codes and monotonous bookkeeping? Surprisingly, a lot! There’s a bunch of clever and funny math jokes and math riddles, so it’s no wonder there are a bunch of hilarious accounting jokes too.
Maybe it’s the anxious clients and endless tax codes that provide them with an arsenal of hilarious accounting jokes. Whatever their inspiration is, when tax season is upon us, we could use a few accountant jokes about taxes and the IRS to relieve the anxiety and stress.
So, get ready to chuckle your way though the accounting humor below. From clever (and punny) one-liners to rib-tickling jokes about taxes, audits, CPAs and even the IRS, we’ve got you covered. Plus, you never know—they might lighten the load and distract your accountant from shoeboxes of receipts and fuzzy math.
Get Reader’s Digest’s Read Up newsletter for more humor, fun facts, cleaning, travel and tech all week long.
Accounting jokes
- What do accountants suffer from that normal people don’t?
Depreciation.
- Ever wonder why they call it a Form 1040?
For every $50 you earn, you get $10, and the IRS gets $40.
- What do you call a trial balance that does not balance?
A late night.
- How does Santa’s accountant value his sleigh?
The Net Present Value.
- Why are accountants so cool, calm and collected?
They have strong internal controls.
- What does an accountant say when getting on a train?
Mind the GAAP.
- How many accountants does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
How many did it take last year?
- What do you call an accountant without a spreadsheet?
Lost.
- What do accountants like most about the weekends?
They get to wear casual clothes to work!
- How was copper wire invented?
Two accountants were arguing over a penny.
- Have you heard the one about the fun accountant?
Me neither.
- How can you tell if an accountant is extroverted?
He looks at your shoes when talking to you instead of looking at his own.
- How come accountants never see the glass as half-empty or half-full?
They see the glass as twice as large as necessary!
Looking for more humor that’s not as lengthy? These short jokes will have you laughing in no time, and they’re easy to remember too!
Tax jokes
- Which superhero pays no tax?
Spiderman, all his income is net.
- What do the IRS, a mugger and your kids have in common?
They all take your money.
- Why don’t skunks have to pay taxes?
Because they only have one scent.
- Why are taxes like golf?
Because you work hard on the green just to end up in the hole.
- What is the definition of a good tax accountant?
Someone who has a loophole named after him.
- Which Avenger pays the least taxes?
Spider-Man, because his income is all net.
- How do dairy farmers do their taxes?
The ones with simple taxes use a cowculator, and the ones with complicated situations have to go to an accowntant.
- Why would you invest in a gas station that loses money to save on taxes?
Because it’s self-serving.
- Why did the goose have a big tax refund?
Because his bill was tax de-duck-table.
- Why is pre-tax income nasty?
Because it’s gross.
- What sort of taxes are there on trash bags?
Hefty ones, and no one is Glad about it.
- What are the three most common types of tax forms?
Short, long, and surrender.
- What sort of taxes do marijuana dispensaries file?
Joint returns.
Enjoying these accounting jokes? For more, browse through these clever jokes that will not only keep you entertained but also make you sound like a smarty-pants!
IRS jokes
- Why won’t the IRS embrace bitcoin?
They don’t trust anything they can’t freeze.
- An IRS auditor is walking down the street when a mugger stops him.
“Give me your money!” the mugger says. “You can’t do that!” says the IRS auditor.
“Oh,” the mugger comments. “Well, in that case, give me MY money.”
- Why did the church get indicted by the IRS?
For displaying false profits.
- What did the IRS say to the cat about his litter box deduction?
I’m sorry, but you can’t claim your litter box as a deduction just because you do your business there.
- What do a pelican, a vulture and the IRS have in common?
They all have big bills.
While some of these accounting jokes might be better suited for home, we’ve got you covered with a selection of funny, office-friendly jokes that will have all your coworkers in stitches!
Audit jokes
- Why did the IRS audit the chiropractor?
He owed back taxes.
- Why did Sherlock Holmes get audited by the IRS?
He had too many deductions.
- What do you call an accountant with an opinion?
An auditor.
- Where is the place to negotiate with the IRS?
At the tax table.
- Where do actors that don’t pay taxes perform?
In the audit-orium.
Are you still working hard from the comfort of your home? Sprinkle in some work-from-home jokes to take the gloom out of Zoom (you get it?).
CPA jokes
- What’s an accountant’s favorite profanity?
Sheet!
- Have you heard about the new dating app for CPAs?
It’s called Let’s Get Fiscal.
- Did you hear about the cannibal CPA?
He charges an arm and a leg!
- Did you hear about the CPA who became a chef?
It wasn’t long before he was cooking the books!
- How did the CPA break her leg?
She lost her balance.
- What’s the difference between a CPA and a Lawyer?
The CPA knows he’s boring.
- What do you get when you cross a tax accountant and a jet airplane?
Boring 747.
- Why did CPAs finally call off their on-again, off-again romance?
They couldn’t reconcile their differences.
- How do know your child will be a CPA when they grow up?
When you read them Cinderella and the pumpkin turns into a golden carriage, they ask, “Is that ordinary income or capital gain?”
These accounting jokes may be cute, but why not charm your crush with some math pickup lines? They’re sure to add up to a winning impression!
One-liners about accounting
- Seen on the T-shirt of an IRS tax agent: We’ve got what it takes to take what you got.
- A successful tennis player has a lot of net income.
- The IRS has made a major announcement. All Cannabis dealers must file a joint tax return.
- I received a letter from the IRS telling me I committed tax fraud. They must have the wrong address because I have never paid taxes in my life.
- Did you ever notice when you put the words “the” and “IRS” together, it spells “theirs?!”
- After I spoke with the tax auditor, I slept like a baby. I woke up every hour and cried.
- Income tax is Uncle Sam’s version of “Truth or Consequences.”
- A parent gave her kid some sound advice before going to accounting school: Study hard so you can be audit you can be.
- Seen on a sign in the accounting firm: Its accrual world out there.
- The official job description of a CPA: Someone who solves a problem you did not know you had in a way you don’t understand.
If you find these accounting jokes funny, don’t miss out on these pun-filled compliments that are sure to charm everyone around you!
Submit your best joke here and get $25 if Reader’s Digest runs it.
Why trust us
Reader’s Digest has been telling jokes for more than 100 years, curated and reviewed over the last 20 years by Senior Features Editor Andy Simmons, a humor editor formerly of National Lampoon and the author of Now That’s Funny. We’ve earned prestigious ASME awards for our humor—including comical quips, pranks, puns, cartoons, one-liners, knock-knock jokes, riddles, memes, tweets and stories in laugh-out-loud magazine columns such as “Life in These United States,” “All in a Day’s Work,” “Laughter Is the Best Medicine” and “Humor in Uniform,” as well as online collections such as short jokes, dad jokes and bad jokes so bad, they’re great. You can find a century of humor in our 2022 compendium, Reader’s Digest: Laughter, the Best Medicine. Read more about our team, our contributors and our editorial policies.
Originally Published: May 04, 2021
